ANYWHO.
For those who have been on the edge of their seats about my problems with my guy friend certain things have been resolved. For all intensive purposes (aka just incase his dumbass finds this blog) I'm changing his name. Not that he won't know, but I'll feel less guilty if I change his name. Let's call him Weston. So Thursday I'm sitting in my room with my dear friends Aaron, Julie, and our adopted freshie Meg. We're all watching TV when Meg and Julie whisper something and Meg says goodbye. Not really unusual since my birthday is coming up and everyone enjoys freaking me out about it. I let it go. Weston then comes over to sit with us and he sends me a text message. A nice angry text message.
For all purposes I'm going to condense this and not go through all the text messages. It turns out Meg had called Weston and told him his birthday present to me should be coming to my party and not bring his girlfriend. First off: I'm not even having a party. Secondly: She did not tell me this because if she did I would have hit her. Regardless of my feelings for that bitch (oh yeah things have gone way downhill since last time), I would never tell him to do that. He thought I knew and was PISSED. Of course then I had to defend myself against him. I was mildly insulted that he would even for a second think I would say that. I may not like the bitch, but my momma raised me right and at least I have tact.
So after a few messages back and forth he left. I told him if he wanted to talk to me he could, but he said unless I needed to talk to him not to worry about it. Should have known better. About ten minutes go by and I get this message.
"I am frustrated. Wanna talk."
I gave a sigh and asked him where we should meet. He told me to meet him at the little drive about behind the dorms. I grabbed my coat watching as Aaron and Julie looked unhappy. Gee. I wonder why. I told them if they didn't hear from me within an hour they could call me to settle their nerves.
I'm going to pause here for a moment and just add a funny note. After I left Julie and Aaron went upstairs to visit my friends Mica and Aastha (whose room I'm currently in) and Aaron had his keys in his hand the entire time. Not only that but they gave Meg and Amanda (my partner in crime) the heads up. Not only did Aaron have his keys at the ready but so did Amanda. I have two friggin search parties ready incase Weston flipped and threw my body in a ditch. End side note.
I opened the door to get in the car and looked at him asking what was wrong. He rolled his eyes and told me to get in the car because he needed to buy gas. And thus it began. I should mention here we were diving for like ten minutes before he so nicely told me he had a gift card for a certain gas station so we weren't going to be around campus. We drove almost an hour away to get gas. As I joking mentioned after to everyone else, if he did flip on me I'd be in trouble. I didn't have my knife or any money. Just my phone and school id. I was also in my pajamas. Yeah...didn't think that one through.
So we did talk. Some more things got into the open and while I think it's still going to take more, it's a start. He asked me what I had meant previously about how he's been off. I told him the truth. He's been distant to us and we miss him. I figured he was going through his own shit, but if he needs to talk I'm still here. I mentioned how we (meaning our group of friends) had noticed when he came over he'd been in a good mood and then it would change right before he left. I didn't mention it was usually after his girlfriend showed up because honestly I need to start a little at a time. He launched himself into explanation. Yes, he hasn't been around because he's been dealing with a lot of shit. He doesn't want us to think he's ditching us for a new group.
Hell, I don't see anyone. I spend all of my time in my own room. I never leave the dorm for anything besides classes. I miss you guys too...
Broke me up a little to hear that. I wanted to say something comforting, but I couldn't think of anything.
THe conversation lightened a bit and at one point he asked if any of this had to do with his girlfriend.
"To be honest? Yeah it does. I won't lie about that. A lot of us are really uncomfortable around her."
He nodded, accepted it, and didn't comment after that.
There were a few times where he kept asking me what else, what else. I just kept getting mad.
"What do you want me to say Weston? Is there something you're waiting for me to say? Let me know because I don't know what's left for me to tell you."
Of course than he'd try to defend himself without getting me mad, just telling me he was still figuring things out. He just wanted to know if there was anything else.
It was hard talking at points. I felt him look at me when I was looking out the window.
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"You seem a lot more frustrated than usual."
"Sunshine, we're all frustrated. I'm dealing with my own shit same as everyone else."
"What kind of shit?"
::sigh:: "I've got a lot of shit coming to me right now. Stuff from every angle. Stuff I just...I just don't know what to do about anymore. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about it, but I am. I'm just figuring it out on me own I guess." I just leaned my head against the window.
Part of me, the dumb part, really wished he'd touch me. Just a reassuring touch. I think by now that's passed. And part of me kind of wanted to cry. It hurts.
When we got to the gas station I sent a message to Aaron that I was alive and well. I was laughing a bit and Weston got back in the car. I explained that I was letting the others know I was alive and he hadn't gotten mad at left me in a ditch.
He just looked at me. "Come on, they know I'd never hurt you."
"Sweets, with how pissed you were at me before I got into the car, they didn't even want me to talk to you."
"...I wouldn't hurt you."
I just shook my head with a little smile. "I'd get out of the car before you had the chance to throw me out."
We drove back and I listened to him sing. I'd usually join, but I kept losing my voice (still being sick and all). We got out of the car and as we were heading back to our respective dorms I reminded him if there was anything else he wanted/needed to tell me, he knew how to find me.
"Vice versa."
I got back into Morris and went straight up to the third floor where all my friends were waiting for me. I walked through the doors and immediately Aaron gave me a hug. I kinda laughed it off, but appreciated it all the same. Also helped cute boy was in the room so I got to smile. Yes. I am indeed a sap.
SPEAKING OF CUTE BOY...yeah i'll fill you in on that next time. BAHAHA
I'm going to devote more time to watching the show, maybe I'l have stuff up later.
Happy Reading Bloggers.
Dear Luci,
ReplyDeleteLet it be known to the world that I love you.
truly and honestly yours,
Mica